Is your girlfriend pregnant and you don't know what to do? Maybe friends and family are encouraging you to push her to have an abortion. Whatever your situation, you are not alone. Lots of couples experience an unexpected pregnancy and immediately worry about how this will affect their future. Abortion seems like an easy and legal solution but it does have significant risks that you may not understand. And having a baby doesn't mean the end of your dreams.

It's hard to realize that women can choose abortion without the permission of the baby's father. Many women who have had abortions report that they were waiting for their boyfriends/husbands to stop them. Some even say that they sat on the abortion table hoping the father of their baby would "rush through the door to rescue me and take me away somewhere safe." She needs your friendship now more than ever.

The world says that abortion is "a woman's choice" but the woman in a crisis pregnancy rarely wants to make that choice alone. She is looking to you for support because she can't confide in many people about this crisis situation. When women hear men say, "Don't look at me to tell you what to do," they automatically believe the man wants the abortion. Be careful that you don't say something that you could regret. Assure her that you will stand beside her in whatever way she needs through this crisis. Inform her immediately that she doesn't need to have an abortion to please you. Tell her you want to help her in making any choices that will affect both your futures.

What should you do now?
The first thing you need to do is find out if she is really pregnant and learn about your options. We provide confidential and free pregnancy tests along with many support services. Our center exists to help both of you come to an informed decision. To help her understand your support, come with her for the pregnancy test. She has more to lose in this pregnancy than you do because it will affect her physically. If she truly is pregnant then she is already being overwhelmed by hormone changes that affect her decision making ability.. Having your emotional and physical support will reassure her that you care.
If you both decide to have an abortion and make it to the facility, ask the facility staff these questions:

• What kind of abortion will she have? Will it be chemical or surgical? Ask about the risks. It's important that you both sit through any discussion about the abortion procedure. Most women will appreciate a man who wants to be with them through this difficult time.
  
  
• Who is the abortionist and what are his credentials? Be sure to write down his name. Don't let her sign any papers that might release him from any liability if the procedure goes wrong.
  
  
• Check to see if the facility is clean and sanitary. If the facility doesn't appear spotless, find another one.
  
  
• If they offer ultrasounds, insist on being allowed to view the screen. Both of you have a right to view any medical tests that are being conducted.
  
  
• Should your girlfriend/wife have any doubts, take her home. There is no rush to make this decision. Any hesitation on her part that is ignored could mean significant regrets in the future. Always remind her that you will support her in the pregnancy and don't want to push her into something she doesn't want to do.

Remember that abortion doesn't erase a mistake. Abortion is PERMANENT. There is no "undoing" this decision. Wait and research all your options and know that we are here to help.